Despair
by Lee Savage
Summary: Oneshot. AU. Rated just in case. They always thought it was the father.


Despair

They always thought it was the father. It always _was _about the father, wasn't it?

Chiro never spoke about his past. Even in his teenage bliss, something was always out of balance. It didn't take a guru to tell how troubled he was.

Where exactly did this child come from? For such an important and unique child, nobody missed the boy. Never had the Shuggazoomian Child Police, a furious parent, or some cranky old lady that ran the orphanage had called or came to the Super Robot's doorstep.

Yet he had impacted the hyperforce's, and the positive definitely outweighed the negative points. Still, Chiro never opened up about his past. With all of the trust he had gained with them, he carried several secrets. They all sensed (although it came to Antauri's keen mind the strongest) their leader's discomfort as he slept, moaning and grasping at a force they couldn't see. Sometimes in his dreams, tears would leak out of his eyelids, thin and gleaming. Not even tough-as-nails Nova, who had grown a sisterly passion for the teen, could ease the hurt out as she softly offered him food, or some "Gibson-certified" medicine. The golden primate remembered how she experienced a short period of insomnia that lasted about a week shortly after the team had made their dramatic visit to the Dreamlands.

"Chiro, you wanna talk about it?" she prompted two "nights" after they had vanquished the Dark One Worm (the time of day was a rough estimate, also defined by when they went to sleep).

"Uhm, about what exactly?" Chiro was in his pajamas and sitting cross-legged on his bed. Nova stood on the side closest to the door, and she was about to leave.

"Those dreams you keep having," Nova whispered. Her pink eyes had a distant look and she was attempting to be as subtle as possible. Despite her affection for Chiro, she knew that he wouldn't open up to just anyone, especially somebody he thought of as a teammate or mentor. She also didn't know how an awkward male would respond to a personal conversation with "the other species." They never really had much time to converse heart-to-heart as friends ever since the Dark One was released from his (its?) underground prison.

"Well..." the boy started as scratching his scalp. "Why? It's not like it's the first time I've had some freaky dream. Besides," Chiro lifted both of his arms up defensively, as if trying to prove his point. "Gibson would say it has something to do with my hormones or something..."

"Yeah, he would, wouldn't he?" She made herself meet the Chosen One's eyes. There was something about them... It was past the childish innocence and curiosity. The outer circle of his irises, which were once the same cerulean coloring as the rest, was a darker shade, and he looked slightly more mature...and what else? Wise? Stressed?

"Listen, Chiro..." Nova's voice raised an octave as her expression turned to one of motherly concern. "this isn't about some fancy medical diagnosis or something physical..." She let out a small breath before continuing. "This's about _you. _It has to hurt. I know it does." The female swallowed thickly. The other watched her intently.

"And we all want to do is make everything less painful for you. Me, Antauri and Sprx and Otto...and even Gibson."

Chiro stared at his teammate through tired eyes, and saw the untamed emotions stirring in her eyes, and he knew she understood part of _it. _His hands fondled with the sheets.

"Nova, have you ever a dream bad enough you couldn't sleep, or didn't want to?" He might as well ask while she was on a roll. With the way his--their life was going, they might not get another chance.

She looked down at the ground for a moment and rubbed the back of her neck. She...

_Holy Shuggazoom_, Chiro thought, _is she gonna cry? Is it even possible to make someone like Nova cry? She was pretty tough when she talked to me about other things, like what Mandarin did to her in the training room years ago...and have I ever _seen _her cry? I don't think so...Nova's not the kind of girl to get emotional at anything Sprx says..._

_Well, 'grats Chiro. Nice going._

He expected her voice to crack, or for her to do something so un-Nova that she would be ashamed of herself, but her expression was focused, as if she was contemplating what to say next, and she didn't want to make a wrong statement. Then, she met his eyes again with an unreadable gaze.

"After we went to that dream place and met the Alchemist," she stated clearly. "I started having these _horrible _dreams--no, _nightmares _about the Alchemist. In the end he would always transform into...that _monster _and taunt me...telling me how useless and weak I was.

"And after a few days, I started to believe him. And y'know, thinking about the insults Mandarin used to throw at me, how I always could've been _better_, I started to blame myself for all of the battles we lost. As it went on I felt like, somehow, Skeleton King was controlling me and he made me rethink all of my friendships. I was afraid to tell anyone, just in case they thought I cracked or was starting to wimp out. I mean sure, Gibson is kinda scared of spiders and Sprx always goes hysterical on those mornings when those mornings when his vision was blurring and he thought his dreams were finally crushed...but I never let it out in the open that I was afraid of _anything _except when it snowed.

"But eventually, I got tired of the nightmares and I felt that I was weak because I was giving in to some thoughts..._bad _thoughts, Chiro...and I wanted everything to _stop."_

"Who'd you tell?" the boy interrupted, breaking the rapid flow of which every secret was rushing out of the yellow primate's lips.

"I told Antauri," she said. "It was during his meditation and I think I ran in so fast that it scared him..." A faint smile appeared on her lips as she imagined the all-knowing Antauri being unprepared for a female running a hundred miles an hour into his room. Chiro resisted the urge to give into the humor too, and then his friend resumed a serious expression.

"He told me that the dreams would keep getting worse if I kept falling into the illusions, and that I should start clearing my mind my doubtful thoughts before I went to sleep," Nova continued, "and I should fight back."

Chiro's eyebrows raised, "And it worked?"

The robotic monkey smiled weakly and said, "Yes, but it was hard. I kept thinking about that vision where the Alchemist created us, and what I couldn't remember. I thought back on how nice and loving his voice was and how I failed to stop him from suffering."

Her leader burst out, "You couldn't help it, though! You didn't know he was changing!"

Nova stepped closer to the boy and replied, "Yeah, but I still felt responsible. Antauri told me it's hard for us to let go of what could've been, and we start blaming ourselves..."

Chiro remembered his emotions that occurred when his spiritual mentor had fallen into the pit, and he comprehended the reasoning. He still could hardly get that terrible image out of his mind...

"What I'm trying to say, Chiro," Nova continued. "that we're a team, and every small piece counts. You might not want to spill everything, but as a family, we can pitch in and make everything smoother."

She walked up to him and placed one firm hand on his shoulder. Now, he felt guilty. He _couldn't _talk about _his _dreams, could he? They were so complicated, and talking about such private stuff that was connected to his past was _forbidden._

Forbidden? Where had that come from?

_A gruesome face with bloody orbs deep in its sockets smiled evilly._

Chiro felt his body breaking out in cold sweat, and Nova's gentle touch seemed so distant...

_Just a pinprick._

Well, what _did _everyone expect? Sure, there were, _the rumors. _Tales about a lone boy out saving the world and his heritage, no matter how insane, were too juicy not to be kept in the dark. Strangely, most of the most spread tales were about his _father._ It was like all of those comics or television shows where it was _the father._ So, why shouldn't the heroic, misunderstood teen with the world on his shoulders have Daddy issues. The identity of his dad was what puzzled the city. Very few were bold enough to go up and ask the "poor, unlucky enigma," and few expected an answer.

The majority of the population had their money on him being the love child of Skeleton King and a mysterious maiden with no name and no face. They never paid attention to the one that actually birthed the child. Then, of course, there was the anonymous, abusive, and drunk jerk that beat up his frightened wife and threw his son in a dark cupboard and threw away the key. After that, some loon...

_I can't believe what some weirdos come up with... Antauri and I may be close, sure...but ugh!_

After listing a few ideas in his head, he realized that Nova had removed her hand from him and backed off a few inches. It seemed like it was his turn to contemplate.

"Hey, Nova?" Chiro called to her. His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, Chiro?" Nova replied.

"Thanks...can I think about what you said?"

"Sure. Remember, we're not just a team. We're a family, and families help each other."

Chiro frowned slightly at the last words.

"Well, 'night."

"'Night Nova."

She left, and the boy turned off the lights and rested his head on his pillow. He felt like he was full of lead.

That night, he dreamt of Skeleton King crushing a baby in his claws, a woman in black robes collapsing on a stone floor and weeping, and Antauri in a tuxedo.

-----

"Chiro, how are you?" Antauri inquired as he entered the med bay.

The teen sat up gingerly, and suppressed a groan while doing so. He closed one eye and grinned.

"Fine, I guess...but that wall came down pretty hard. Yeesh...I didn't even fight anything and it feels like a thousand formless pounced on me."

The sterling primate nodded while continuing to gaze at the boy. "It was very courageous of you to rescue that senior citizen before the wall came down."

_Stupid earthquake. _Chiro moaned silently. Looking aimlessly at the ceiling, he shrugged. "It's no big deal. I mean, I'm used to it. Saving people is what I live for. S'no reason to get proud about it." Before his mentor could respond about how he indeed saved a precious life and many more, the leader continued,

"Nothing's eating away at the city's supporting columns, is it? I still feel weird about going down there."

Antauri cleared his throat. "I'm not certain. Although I sense that nothing supernatural caused the seismic activity, Gibson and the others are going to investigate the matters."

Chiro stared at the second-in-command. "And you're staying here?" It was odd how Gibson would barge out when he had a patient and would leave another teammate to watch. _Well, he is an expert at stuff like earthquakes, and if there's any other monkey that can handle the job, Antauri would be the next best._ Of course, Antauri repeated the reasoning.

"Yes, although I am not as knowledgeable of medical remedies as Gibson, I was once...tutored in the art of healing and special solutions to doing so."

Chiro couldn't shake the strange feeling he had with his mentor in the room. The silver simian was an enigma, and even though they didn't converse about it openly, they had both shared so much together. Still, Chiro felt awkward near the other, because he felt the wise one _studying _him. Antauri might've been unaware of it, but his calm approaches were intimidating to the teen. The blue-eyed lad recalled those rumors about his true relationship with Antauri...and even though it was absurd, to some it was reasonable. To Chiro, the wise and insightful being was far from the images of fatherhood in Chiro's mind. The teenager recalled his own Dad, who disappeared when he was about eight, or so he thought. Antauri was the polar opposite of his biological father, but he'd been there far more than his dad, especially after...

Chiro shuddered at the memory of his mother. That face was so familiar...and if the team knew...

Besides, he _had _a family already without his screwed up bloodline. Nova was like his big, protective sister. Otto was like his encouraging and playful big brother, and Sprx and Gibson were both his humorous and reasonable uncles. Antauri wiped away all of those stupid theories and replaced them with warm memories. He was like the father that replaced Chiro's other, lost one. He was better.

They were all he needed.

Chiro had no clue how long he sat staring at his mentor, but Antauri remained there on his shift, and when he looked into Chiro's sapphire eyes with his own cobalt ones, he understood.

They both did.

After that day, Chiro never told the monkeys about his childhood, but he worked and meditated. Soon, although he never forgot his past, he learned to let go.

Chiro never had the dreams again.

-----

Chiro gaped at the newly-resurrected Skeleton King.

"No...NO!" he yelled. After all that happened, this was the product?

He heard that wretched witch cackling in the background, and buried emotions started to boil.

Suddenly, the world started to turn in slow motion. Nova was screaming, and he saw Sprx racing toward the undead lord with his weapons out and ready. The cloaked skeleton grinned maliciously and his staff emitted a powerful, sickly green blast to make the red simian fly backwards and when his head made contact with a hard, rock wall, a loud crack echoed throughout the pit. Sprx fell to the ground, face down. There, he did not move again.

The Chosen One did not know if Nova stopped screaming, or who was tugging on his arm so ferociously. He saw Valina advancing on Antauri with a mad glint in her eyes. Skeleton King was chanting, and Mandarin could be heard screeching taunts in the background. Without thinking, Chiro leapt, pushed Antauri to the ground, and glared hatefully at the sorceress.

"You've taken enough from me," he spat, and felt angry tears welling up as the dam containing all of his memories burst. "You sold your soul, and you let _him _take my only father away from me. You stupid, heartless witch, DON'T YOU DARE TAKE AWAY ANYONE ELSE! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! DO YOU THINK SKELETON KING WILL REWARD YOU AFTER WE'RE DEAD?!" Tears rolled freely down his cheeks.

"Don't you dare speak _his _name with your childish vanity!" Valina shrieked. "When I was growing up, I learned many things, but to hate was the first lesson. After I ran away with your arrogant father, I started to hate him too. The Lord taught me to turn hatred into a weapon... Oh yes, little Chiro, I harvested my dark emotions into power. That power was used to hurt humanity! The humanity that denied me any true life!"

"And Father?"

"It was not my decision!" Something in her voice was uncertain. "Your father was a fool! He obstructed my true destiny..." she snarled. "...as you do right now...I don't know how you eluded the Lord's wrath all of these years, but I assure you, it ends now."

It was always the mother.


End file.
